Life's Lessons - Stories around the campfire

[BLOODDRAGON]

just share some of your embarrassing/funny/wierd storys that happened to you throught your life

when i was 4 i had a G.I. Joe doll and one day i was playing with him and i captured him so i asked him where his base and alleys was and he wouldnt tell me, so i put him on the still warm grill and continue to question him, well by the time he was willing to talk...his mouth melted...along with a huge chunk of his limbs

alright i thought this was funny, i think it was 5 years ago a group of kids i was with all ment camping and so one night we all went down to pool since it has showers and we all showered and so were acting like morons and one kid when to the stall as soon as we got in so we filled a bucket with ice cold watter from the shower and dumped it all on him and he yelled" HOLY (other word for pooh that starts with s)!" so loud i think the whole reserve heard him anyways, after we finished up we came outside and the first thing our counselor asked us is "So boys what does God look like?" and we're like " huh?" and he says" well i heard someone yell holy (other word for pooh that starts with s) so i thought god came in to take a dump

[Okami]

I remember back when I went to boot camp and towards the end, one of our Company Commanders had to give us all a little bit of advice.

He said to us "Now I know that this has been a life changing expierence for you all and you're going to take a lot of this home with you when you graduate and go on leave for the first time. Out of all of the things you've learned here and all of the habits you've developed, there is one important thing you must remember not to do. When you're sitting there at the dinner table with your family for Thanksgiving dinner and you realize that the whole table has gone silent. You look up and see everyone staring at you like you've grown a second head. That is when you realize that you just asked Grandma to pass you the friggin (tamed down) potatoes without even thinking. You may only talk like a sailor around other sailors, you family will thank you for this.....especially Grandma's blood pressure."

It's been almost 17 years since then and I still remember that one.

[JCP]

Perhaps we should have some evidence that JCP is evil....

First, cool thing I did when running a rpg:

Players needed to get information, so I had it passed to them through a magic portal. As the note passed through the portal, it caught fire and would need to be extinguished or else the message would be lost.

At this, I lit the prepared message and threw it in front of the players.

It took them several seconds to realize what I had just done and scramble out of their seats.

Lesson: Always pay attention to the person in charge. You never know when they will throw fire at you.

Note: this should only be done in a place where this will not cause property damage, such as a college dorm common area with fire-retardant carpet.

Second, cool thing I did on the phone.

I was studying in my dorm room when the phone rang.

RING!

"Hello?"

"Hello sir, this is X from Y Meat Service. How many people are in your family?"

*This is odd.* "Five."

"And how much do you spend on groceries a week?"

"Nothing. I'm on a meal plan at college."

CLICK!

*That was rude. If he was going to be rude the least he could have done was let me have a little fun first. Oh well.*

RING!

"Hello?"

"Hello sir, this is X from Y Meat Service. How many people are in your family?"

*Thank you, telemarketer karma.* "Twelve."

*Kaching!*

(I kid you not - you could hear him straighten up in his chair as his eyeballs spun into dollar signs.)

"And how much do you spend on groceries a week?"

"About $20."

"$20? That's it?"

"Yes, we eat mostly lettuce - "

CLICK!

And I never got to finish about lowering your grocery bill through canibalism. :(

Lesson: Even when you are a telemarketer, there's no reason to be rude.

[Mitsuko]

*reads JCP's first lesson and cracks up, falling out of her seat*

[BLOODDRAGON]

oh this is a funny one, well not at the time it wasnt funny, alright some how my little bro ( age: 9) got into my room ( i tihnk he found my parent key tro get in my room cause i usualy kep it locked) and at 1:30 he put my gigantic headphone on (these things are awesome they block all sound from outside) my head and plug the other one into the stero in my room, then they took my Static-X Shadowzone cd put on the Bass Boost to max turn the volume to max...i tell you i yelled "HOLY SHIT" so loud when i sprang out of that bed and fling them across the room, i think i woke everyone up

then my mom and dad come down as i was holding up up to the wall by his neck & yelling at him( of course hes laughing the whole time), and stuff like tyhat parents get mad about, DONt choke your brothers

anyways after a while i stoped being mad at him and i HAD to congratulate him, thats was the like first MAJOR prank that he has pulled on me, and it was kinda funny ill admit

anyways, after we discussed the situation i didnt get in trouble ( YAAAY!)

[GOLD]

don't put your hand on a barbeque, it could burn you :!:

[BLOODDRAGON]

don't put your hand on a barbeque, it could burn you :!:

REALLY!?!? thanks for pointing that out Captain Obvious :roll:

[Sholva]

Remember kids! DON'T EAT YELLOW SNOW!!! :twisted:

[BLOODDRAGON]

NEVER sing "Are you ready?" by AC/DC in the communion line at church... today i had that stuck in my head and i was singing it under my breath in the communion line... i mean i thought the church music drowned me out but apperently the old people have super powered hearing aids or something! i got so many dirty looks and when i went back to me pew, i mean, i didnt know they could hear me!

[Phoenix]

Oh yeah, hearing aids con pick up on lots of stuff....you'd be hard pressed to imagine unless you had to wear 'em...like I have to. 8)

[Mitsuko]

...hmm...words of wisdom...

Oh! I might have one. Never throw full bottles of soda pop in the school cafeteria. You'll never hit your true target...My friend Matt decided to take my chair at the cafeteria one day so I stubbornly took his. He threw my pop at me, and missed. So, I picked mine up and chucked his back at him. He dodged and it hit someone else. >) Someone I hated...the best acting I've ever done. "OH MY GOD!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?" Like I cared...I was hoping her face was throbbing..but yeah! You'll never hit intended target!

And...Never trust your friends with your chair...Another thing Matt did. He dragged me around the whole cafeteria in my chair before he tried to lift it up. I went to slam my rear down on it, the chair slipped (thanks to Matt) and I fell quite loudly, and painfully, on my arse onto the tile floor. I just had to lay there for a minute laughing while Matt freaked out...

Yeah...Not very good life lessons, but they'll keep your butt from hurting...

[BLOODDRAGON]

never look for a T-shirt in the freezer, you will (most liekly) never find one in there, i did this today, we were going ofver to my Grandma's and so i thoght that it would be a good idea to get drerssed out of my PJS (by the way i been waring the same PJs for 3 days (gotta love summer vacation) so i go into the back room of our basement, when the washer/dryer is and in there we have to freezers, a regular fridge with liquor inside (my parent barely ever drink so i dont know why they have hat much liqour but hey... more for me...i mean umm... never mind :wink: ) and a big freeze for frozen foods, ( why we need 3 freezers i will never know...) any-hoo i go in there and i start rooting around in the freezer, my mind completely blank i dont know why i was looking in there for a T-shirt, and my dad ask me what im looking for and i response, " a T-shirt duh...wait a minute... T-shirts arnt in the freezer...."

well he had a VERY good laugh...


BTW: here is a very good idea, if you have to do anythin that involves working out in intense heat, soak a hat in water and freeze it or throw you pants and shirt in the freezer (not wet) i had to mow the yard one day and the temp was suppose to be in the high 90s so i just through all my clothes in the freezer, but i still dont know why i was looking for my T-shirt in the freezer, it was like 40 degrees out that day so i couldnt lie to my dad...

[Syrius]

:oops:
As to your freezer story, if you were like me you may well find it there, like my tv remote control, I have found it in the freezer, inside a doona cover, going through the wash... I have also put it in my bag (thinking it was my mobile phone) and my boyfriend often puts it in his pocket (thinking its his mobile phone).
:oops:
So, anyhow, if your feeling silly, read the above.
:oops:
I'm now having second thoughts on whether I should click on submit....
:oops: